I’d Tell You I Love You, But Then I’d Have To Kill You by Ally Carter

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Summary: A private all-girls school is an excellent cover for training the next generation of spies. Teen novel. 

Gallagher Academy is the school to which I’d like to send my daughters. Not only do they train young ladies in social graces, foreign languages and biology, but the students also learn Covert Ops, Data Encryption and Garbology.

Cammie, the daughter of the headmistress, and her friends Liz and Bex are asked to show a potential new student around the school. And why?:

“The juniors are beginning their semester with interrogation tactics, so they are all under the influence of sodium pentathol at the moment, and the seniors are being fitted with their night-vision contacts, and they won’t un-dilate for at last two hours.”

You’ll find yourself chuckling as not only do these girls deal with all the stresses that spies-in-training must pursue, but ordinary teen girl angst as well. They miss breakfast to primp for their hunky new Covert Operations teacher, and they pass notes in class written in disappearing ink.

“I can only imagine the misery of a girl going to a normal school, since she probably isn’t going to spend her Saturday nights helping her best friend crack the codes that protect U.S. spy satellites. (Liz even split the extra credit she earned from Mr. Mosckowitz with me - the cash prize offered by the NSA, she kept.)”

When a boy from town expresses interest in Cammie, the girls make it their mission to find out if he really likes her or not. Expected hijinks ensue. The casual way that Cammie’s high-tension life is treated makes the humor of this book come alive, even if the plot is typical teen fiction. 

“I think he was dazed – I know I definitely was. After all, it’s not every day you A) break up with your secret boyfriend, B) get kidnapped by (sort of) former government operatives, and C) have the aforementioned secret boyfriend attempt to rescue you by driving a forklift through a wall.” 

Enjoyable, light teen reading. I'm looking forward to future Cammie adventures with the Gallagher Girls.