"The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid." — Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The Blonde Geisha by Jina Bacarr

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Summary: A blonde Englishwoman is left in a tea house and trained to become a geisha until her father can rescue her. 

I’m sure my husband would like it if I referred to his penis as “honorable penis” but it’s not much of an erotic novel if I keep giggling thru it, is it?

Not only is the writing ridiculous, but the plot was even worse. When Kathlene's father is threatened by a Japanese prince, her father stashes her in the tea house owned by his mistress who is herself a geisha. 

Kathlene resists her geisha training, but enjoys titillating men, without realizing that as a geisha, she might have to have intercourse with someone she's not automatically attracted to. Lots of touching and playing with the gardener boy, but no actual penetration. 

Then Kathlene's first client is a brutish general (of that same evil prince who threatened her father). She and her best friend concoct an elaborate plot where Kathlene's friend, who was flunking out of geisha school anyway, takes Kathlene's place. Then they will race and take Kathlene to the English embassy in order to keep her safe.  Wait! You mean the embassy was an option all along? She didn't really have to live in the tea house all this time?  Puh-leeze. I quit reading before I found out if Kathlene's father was alive after all. 

This book gets prominent pacing on Barnes & Noble's shelves, but doesn't deserve it.

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