The Blonde Samurai by Jina Bacarr

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Summary: Lady Katie Carlton leaves her abusive husband and finds sensuality and love in the arms of a samurai.

Written as if it were a Victorian tell-all (lots of Dear Reader, etc), The Blonde Samurai is an attempt to bring honor to infidelity. On her wedding night, Katie finds her husband involved in a wicked bout of sadomasochistic sex with two prostitutes off the street. She compromises and says she will stay married to her husband, but will never consummate the marriage.

From the first chapter, it was implausible. Not that I’ve been to many weddings in Victorian England (as I am quite a bit younger, Dear Reader) but her husband leaves her and her guests the night of the wedding (how exactly?) for an S&M romp with two maids and nobody notices? Hmmm.

So she remains celibately married and idly interested in her husband’s large collection of sex toys, until her husband abuses her one night and she runs off to be with a married samurai, Shintaro.

Shintaro's wife Nami can’t have children, so Shintaro has been bedding Akira, another man. So Katie must come to terms with her own infidelity, Shintaro’s infidelity, and his bisexuality. Once she gets those sticky moral dilemma figured out, they have another problem, a decision of hers leads to a battle where Shintaro’s lover is killed. Shintaro lost the battle and intends to commit seppuku, ritual suicide, because his honor is at stake. Then Katie intercedes with the Empress on Shintaro’s behalf, begging the Empress not to accept Shintaro’s offer of ritual suicide. Look, his honor is at stake and he’s married to someone else, why the hell would you so demean him as to challenge what his honor demanded? How shameful. The book talked all about honor and then she is crying and weeping as he’s about to commit seppuku.

Totally ridiculous!

The writing is just terrible. Florid and long-winded. If you want character-driven erotica, try Megan Hart’s Order of Solace book No Greater Pleasure. If you want pure sex, try something else, but leave this one alone.

The Blonde Geisha by Jina Bacarr

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Summary: A blonde Englishwoman is left in a tea house and trained to become a geisha until her father can rescue her. 


I’m sure my husband would like it if I referred to his penis as “honorable penis” but it’s not much of an erotic novel if I keep giggling thru it, is it?


Not only is the writing ridiculous, but the plot was even worse. When Kathlene's father is threatened by a Japanese prince, her father stashes her in the tea house owned by his mistress who is herself a geisha. 


Kathlene resists her geisha training, but enjoys titillating men, without realizing that as a geisha, she might have to have intercourse with someone she's not automatically attracted to. Lots of touching and playing with the gardener boy, but no actual penetration. 


Then Kathlene's first client is a brutish general (of that same evil prince who threatened her father). She and her best friend concoct an elaborate plot where Kathlene's friend, who was flunking out of geisha school anyway, takes Kathlene's place. Then they will race and take Kathlene to the English embassy in order to keep her safe.  Wait! You mean the embassy was an option all along? She didn't really have to live in the tea house all this time?  Puh-leeze. I quit reading before I found out if Kathlene's father was alive after all. 


This book gets prominent pacing on Barnes & Noble's shelves, but doesn't deserve it.

Lover Avenged (Black Dagger Brotherhood, Book 7) by J.R. Ward

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Summary: Half-sympath/Half-vampire Rehvenge is caught in the middle of vampire politics while wooing Ehlena, a struggling vampire nurse.

Lover Avenged feels like a place holder book to me. The story moves the plot of the Black Dagger Brotherhood along, but the primary romance between Ehlena and Rehvenge does not have the seemingly insurmountable problems that the other Brothers did.  My favorite story is that of Zhadist and Bella, likely because it was the first book I read of the series, as I read them completely out of order.

Author J.R. Ward thoughtfully provides a glossary of terms in the beginning of each book, so the vampire world and the relevant rules of the world she's created are spelled out before you even meet the characters.

Without sharing too much of the current vampire world, let me sum up the plot: Rehvenge is summoned to carry out the assassination of Wrath, the vampire king, head of the Black Dagger Brotherhood. Why in the world anyone with half a brain would think Rehvenge would kill the king, I don't know. On top of that, Rehvenge must seek monthly medical treatment for a chronic (sexual) poisoning he gets every month, but must keep secret from the world. The only nurse at the clinic who can handle Rehvenge's cold, calculating and leering gaze is Ehlena.

Ehlena has struggles of her own. Her father has schizophrenia (yes, apparently vampires can get schizophrenia) and she leaves her father to the care of a nurse while she serves the public. She tells herself that when she is seeing Rehvenge outside of the clinic, it's because she's doing her nursely duty, just like she'd like someone to take care of her father, but she soon realizes it's something more.

The love story developed quickly, because this book was more used to establish that: Lash, a former Vampire, is a successful son of the Omega; that John Matthew and Xhex have a connection that neither of them can admit without losing face; that Wrath is now officially blind and can serve his people best by administrative purposes instead of fighting lessers; that Tohrment has snapped out of his grief; and that the Black Dagger Brotherhood needs more fighters. There was only one mention of Marissa, and I wasn't even sure if she and Butch were still an item.

I'll be waiting for the next book, which I hope features Payne, and develops the story between John Matthew and Xhex.

Flirt (Anita Blake, Vampire Hunter, Book 18) by Laurell K. Hamilton

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Summary: After Anita refuses to raise the dead, her family of lovers is held hostage until she does.


What made the Anita Blake series so good in the beginning was Anita's moral dilemmas. How can a necromancer date a vampire? And how should her powers be used? Anita also has a specific rules about sex, blood and death.


Lately, Laurell K. Hamilton has been all about the gore, with people digging in open sucking wounds, or multiple partner sex with strangers that leaves people dazed.


It's a pleasure to have a nice super natural story with a little bit of violence and vengeance, and a little bit of monster sex, and a mystery and a scene where Anita learns how to flirt. Well, I predict that many of the people who were disappointed in Hamilton will come back.  This was one of her shorter novels, but maybe she has a new editor she respects. Cheers to that!