Whistlin' Dixie in a Nor'easter by Lisa Patton

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Summary: A Memphis belle helps her husband open a B&B in snowy Vermont.

I liked everything about this book. I wavered between giving it 4 or 5 stars, but decided on 5 because, even as much as I could predict what would (and did) happen, I kept coming back to it and stayed up to finish it.

Leelee Satterfield has the perfect life in Memphis: her handsome husband, whom she nabbed in college, after she got boobs; a gorgeous house, supportive friends, and happy children. And one night her husband tells her he's profoundly unhappy and the only thing that will ever make him happy is to be the owner of an inn in Vermont. Since Leelee has never said no to Baker -ever-, she sells her house and uses the money along with her father's inheritance to buy the Vermont Haus Inn.

Despite all the red flags, including a smelly house and a tiny bedroom, Leelee reluctantly settles in to life in Vermont, constantly surprised at al the things she never knew about before: black ice, flies that bite, rook rakes, sonic booms and nor'easters. But the biggest surprise of all is when her husband forgets their wedding anniversary and instead leaves her a note telling her he's fallen in love with an older woman and will be taking a job managing her ski resort instead.

The weakest part of the novel for me was how capable and collected Leelee seemed after the man she has adored forever left her high and dry with a cook who hates her and a falling-down building. The rest of the book travels upon predictable paths - her new cook is single and gorgeous, her girlfriends from Memphis come to the rescue, but it worked in sweet and tender ways. I'm ready for more Leelee.

Blind Fury by Lynda La Plante

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Summary: A British detective must enlist the help of a jailed serial rapist to catch another serial rapist.

Another book featuring Detective Anna Travis, my second favorite character after La Plante's Jane Tennyson. When the battered naked body of a woman is found alongside the M1 motorway, it is the 3rd body found as such. Detective Travis is assigned to the case and starts the laborious task of going back through very cold cases.

At times it seems as if they'll never catch a break, but good old fashioned police work, pouring through files, reviewing CCTV and re-interviewing witnesses many times, they finally have a lead. In teh way that Prime Suspect focuses on one man and just wear him down, the same situation happens here. But during one of the many trips to listen to jailed psychopath muse over case files and listen to his creepy insinuations, Anna strikes up a friendship with a young guard there, Ken.

Anna and Ken quickly develop a romance and while Anna still doggedly tries to solve the case, she starts to realize that there might be more to life than police work. Finding the soft center of this hardened police woman was delightful as a reader and the story was dramatic in only Lynda La Plante's way.

The Girl in the Steel Corset by Kady Cross

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Summary: A steampunk novel about a young Victorian girl with extraordinary powers.

Finley Jayne is working as a housemaid in a house in London when she is attacked by the son of the master of the house.  Instead of submitting, a voice inside Finley encourages her to fight back. This excites the young lord, but Finley soon realizes she is fighting for more than her virtue; she is fighting for her life. But that voice inside her takes over, helps Finley win the fight and ends with the lord crumpled and bleeding against a wall. Finley escapes into the night and runs straight into Lord Griffin King. Literally, she runs into his velocycle.

Since this is a steampunk novel, Griffin uses his wrist telegraph to communicate that he's bringing Finley home to his mansion. Finley joins Griff's motley crew of associates, Sam, who's part automaton; Emily, an Irish lass who's a mechanical genius, American cowboy Jasper Finn and Griffin himself, who can command the power of the Aether.

If this sounds a bit like that terrible Sean Connery movie The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, you are not alone. In the  acknowledgments, the author thanks her editor for letting her write The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen meets X-men teens. This is absolutely accurate, but did not make for an original book, even though this book is often recommended as a classic YA steampunk fiction. It has a teen heroine torn between two men, one who admires her dark side, and one who makes her aspire to be more, even as she is conscious of the difference in their status. Lots of fighting, lots of new technology, but it just felt stale to me. I wish I could have recommended it more. 

The GQ Candidate by Keli Goff

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Summary: A black and Jewish man runs for president.

Of course, he's handsome. Although the press calls Luke Cooper "The GQ Candidate," and it's the title of the book, it's not really about him. At first, I thought it would be about his wife Laura (yes, the cutesy-ness of 'Luke & Laura' does not escape the author), then it seemed to focus on how the friends of the candiadte would deal with his new campiagn for president.

Luke Cooper is black, but was adopted by a Jewish family long ago. So he is both black and Jewish. The Jewish part seemed thrown in by the author, since it's obvious that Luke is some sort of disengaged Christian, as he certainly didn't practice any Judaism in the book. I could tell the author hadn't really researched that plot device well. Luke's best friend is a preacher and the preacher's father also a preacher, who calls Luke "son."  Luke does far more Christian worshipping than any Jewish worshipping.

Despite Luke Cooper being both black and Jewish and a presidential candidate, there is no mention of any secret service detail or any death threats. Instead, the campaign scandals are a violent drunk friend who heckles the crowd, and former Muslim girlfriend with mild terrorist ties.

I felt that this book was good, but not great, needing more polish. There were grammatical errors early on, and many plot holes. Some characters come on strong and then fade out of memory, and there were many characters to keep in the story. It ended as you would expect, but with minimal closure for most of the characters. The concept was interesting but as a book, it wasn't strong.

Feed by Mira Grant

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Summary: In a future under constant threat from zombies, a blogger journalist and her brother follow a presidential candidate.

I read MT Anderson's Feed instead when I skimmed over my online book's club selection. Oops! When I realized my mistake, I checked the information again. Is this a zombie book? Yes, it is a zombie book, but it's also so much more.

Set in the future (2039), this is ultimately a book about journalism, but with zombies. Georgia Mason and her brother Shaun are the lead bloggers of their site. Shaun is an Irwin, obviously named after Steve Irwin, who died on camera during an adventure. Shaun is reckless, charming and absolutely good at his job. Georgia is a Newsie, one who insists on the truth no matter how much it hurts. I know I'm a blogger myself (you're reading this, right?) but in light of the furor over the news that Aveda will no longer pay bloggers for reviews, I'm naturally skeptical of the journalistic integrity of bloggers. Georgia's fierceness about always telling the truth seems a way to redeem the current blogging environment, which is rife with rumors. Georgia's defensiveness is justified, given the blogosphere in 2011.

But in 2014, a cure for the common cold, when it meets the cure for cancer, turns people into zombies who feed on living flesh.

"No one gets cancer or colds anymore. The only issue is the walking dead."

The United States government has ceded control of Alaska to the walking dead and the book opens with Georgia and Shaun zombie hunting in Santa Cruz, California. The sly humor kept me reading, even though I'm not a horror fan.

Georgia, Shaun, and their partner Buffy are the only bloggers chosen to be part of the presidential press corps following Senator Ryman. He gives them almost complete access and their blog site is gaining popularity. Ratings soar when Georgia and Shaun fight off a zombie attack at one of the Seantor's campaign rallies. Buffy, their technical expert, actually uncovers information that suggests the zombie attack was actually an assassination attempt.

The conspiracy runs deeper and deeper, with tragedy striking in surprising ways. I was racing to finish this, wondering exactly who was behind it all. The book dragged in the middle and there were a few plots holes. But on the whole, I loved this book, despite the zombie theme. I almost wish I was more of a a zombie movie fan, because I'm sure there are references I missed. I'm definitely reading the next book in the series.

The Secrets Sisters Keep by Abby Drake

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Summary: Four sisters are gathered at the 70h birthday of their uncle, after a 20 year separation. 

Uncle Edward is missing, the day before his 70th birthday.

His housekeeper and niece Ellie does NOT need the stress of looking for him, what with all the party-planning and the arrival of her three other sisters in addition to all the out-of-town guests. Beautiful Babe is an middle-aged movie star married to an even older movie star, and both of them are obsessed with their comeback. Amanda is struggling under her mountain of debt and Manhattan lifestyle after just finding out her husband is having an affair. Then we have Carleen. No one speaks of her, but what she did twenty years ago is still affecting people today.

Ellie is responsible for greeting the guests, dealing with her guests and Amanda's family's arrival. Carleen does arrive and after being rejected by both Amanda and Babe (what exactly did Carleen do?) decides to leave again.  Events unfold so quickly that it was almost, but not completely implausible, that things turned out the way they did. Is Carleen stealing from Ellie? Is Edward flying down from a helicopter? Is Edward's long-term lover a murderer? Ellie escapes to the island and finds a noose hanging from a tree! She freaks out, wondering if Uncle Edward is planning to commit suicide.

The book flips back and forth between the girls' childhood and teen years quite well, revealing just enough about Carleen's "crime" to keep me reading, but also uncovering reasons why Edward might decide to go missing. While this book dealt with extreme situations, the reactions and thought processes of each person were explained in such a loving, understanding way that no one character was a true villain or hero. The relationship between the sisters actually seemed the weakest part of the book, but I quite enjoyed the entire book. 

Pemberley Ranch by Jack Caldwell

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Summary: The characters and basic plot of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice are transported to antebellum Texas. 

I have read so many bad adaptations, sequels and "inspired by" books of Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice that I didn't expect much of Pemberley Ranch, but it was surprisingly good.

The book was enhanced by my knowledge and love of Jane Austen's novels, but people looking for a post-Civil War fiction novel would appreciate the story, even without the background.

Instead of Lizzie Bennet, we have Beth Bennet. The Bennets sell their farm in Ohio and move to Texas after the Civil War and the death of the oldest Bennet child, Samuel. (Samuel was never a character in P&P.) Will Darcy was an officer in the Confederate Army and is now a rancher in Texas. Instead of Mr. Wickham, we have George Whitehead. Now a carpetbagger, Whitehead violated basic rules of war and oversaw Union war camps, where Confederate prisoners died of dysentery and starvation. I never got the sense from the original P&P that Wickham was truly evil, perhaps just malicious and selfish, but Whitehead is despicable. He's at the center of a convoluted plot to drive free blacks off their own land and profit from a new railroad line coming into town.

The main characters - Mr. Collins, Lady Catherine de Bourgh, Mrs Bennet- are all there, with slightly different motivations.  Collins is the bank manager, and the bank will get the Bennet farm in foreclosure. He's also called Billy Collins, which is the name of a modern famous poet. Lady Catherine is Kate Burroughs and Mrs. Bennet is concerned about the lack of good quality men in Rosings, Texas. In addition to calling Fitzwilliam Darcy Will Darcy, there is also a character named Fitzwilliam. Wha, what? I know. The love story between Darcy and Beth/Lizzie develops along the same line, and that's what made this story work.

Several things bothered me though - The author used characters from other Austen books as characters in Pemberley Ranch: Elton, Mr. Knightly, etc. Instead of Darcy writing a letter to explain his hatred for Whitehead, he gets drunk and rants to Beth and Anne. The slurring and writing in this scene seemed forced. In fact, a lot of the Southern talk/writing seemed cliched and fake. Keeping to the emotions of the original P&P during similar scenes always worked best. You will be surprised about what happens to Lily/Kitty. It's worse than you think.

A line on the back cover reads: "Frankly, Mr. Darcy, I don't give a damn." Any reference or homage to Gone with the Wind is strictly accidental.

Despite the fact that P&P didn't end with a shoot-out, this was a pleasant read, if slow at times. I kept putting this down and picking it up when I thought about it, but it wasn't a book I had to stay up late finishing.

Room by Emma Donoghue

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Summary: A boy narrates his life first imprisoned in a room with his mother and then their life on the outside.

I’m giving up on so-called “popular” books. The ones that seem to brush through book clubs and best seller lists seem to have an element of violence and dysfunction that does not bring me pleasure when I read. The exception was The Help. I reluctantly read this book for my book club and shuddered with disgust and disdain for nearly the whole book.

Room was inspired by the true story of Elisabeth Fritzl, an Austrian woman who had been imprisoned in her father’s basement for twenty-four years, during which time he repeatedly assaulted and raped her. She eventually bore him seven children (one miscarriage). Three of her children had been imprisoned with their mother for the whole of their lives until rescue, at ages 19, 17 and 4. Room also references the cases of Jaycee Lee Dugard in California and Natascha Kampusch and Sabine Dardenne in Europe. I don't enjoy rape stories and I knew this was an essential element of the plot. So I had this bias going in.

Room is narrated wholly by a young boy, Jack, who has just celebrated his fifth birthday. Ma and Jack live in an 11x11 room. It’s actually a garden shed fitted with soundproofed cork, lead-lined walls, and a coded metal security door. For the past seven years, Ma has been imprisoned in this room and raped repeatedly by her captor, a man Jack calls Old Nick.  When Old Nick arrives every night or two, Jack is stored safely (?) in Wardrobe and counts the repetitive noises from the bedsprings, sometimes in groups of two or five.  I find it odd that a boy as precocious as Jack, and names his Penis, still doesn't understand what is happening to his mother. All Jack really knows about Old Nick is that he

brings groceries and Sundaytreat and disappears the trash, but he's not human like us. He only happens in the night, like bats.... I think Ma doesn't like to talk about him in case he gets realer.

The secrecy about the rape and Old Nick's brutality is supposed to be a testament to how protective his mother is - that she shelters him from life and its cruelty - but instead becomes another unresolved issue in the book.

Two years into her abduction, Ma gave birth to Jack. We eventually find out later that there was a baby before Jack, who died upon delivery. Ma, we learn, was abducted one night at age nineteen on her way to the school library.

Life is regimented in Room. Ma and Jack exercise, eat balanced meals, sleep, bathe and do chores. They also Scream, their form of therapy. Ma insists that they keep to strict mealtimes, perhaps to give some structure to their days. This is interesting. They are not really paying attention to their hunger cues, but instead eat on the clock, a form of imprisonment that seemed odd to me. If someone else controls your life, I would think you would want more freedom, not less. This was not the only jarring note of the book.

Jack refers all the objects in Room  as though they are real, living personalities. There’s Wardrobe, a Rug, Plant and Meltedy Spoon. It wasn’t cute, but tiresome. It's also unclear whether Ma has decided this or Jack.

We have thousands of things to do every morning, like give Plant a cup of water in Sink for no spilling, then put her back on her saucer on Dresser.... I count one hundred cereal and waterfall the milk that’s nearly the same white as the bowls, no splashing, we thank Baby Jesus.

Why some things were capitalized with personalities and others weren't is never explained. Sink gets a name, but saucer doesn't? C'mon.

What I found most charming was that Jack is still nursing at age 5. In fact, when I first read the line "I had some." I thought there was a typo.  Some is Jack's word for breastmilk. (Why isn't Some capitalized, since it's obviously so important?) Jack, like my youngest daughter Vivien, prefers the left side. (Vivien is not still nursing, but that was my choice, not hers.)

They do have a TV, which causes a real problem when Ma tries to tell Jack that Outside is real. Yet Ma's protection of Jack doesn't extend to the television. She limits his TV watching in quantity only, certainly not quality. Jack can sing along to Eminem and Woody Guthrie music videos. He knows the latest dances. He listens to people speak on TV. His own mother, the only person with whom he talks, speaks normally. He uses words like “rappelling” and “hippopotami”  and then randomly reverts to baby talk.

Some people say Donoghue amazingly captures the narrative voice of a young child. Puh-leeze. I have a 5-year-old son who’s very verbal, very physical and very affectionate, much like Jack. I also have an almost-five year old girl (adopted) who had very little stimulation or affection for the first sixteen months of her life. Jack doesn’t talk like either of them.  Even if the writing was realistic, any book either of my children wrote would be ridiculous and mind-numbingly boring, although as their mother, I'd adore it.

The story of Room is split into two parts, the first part occurring in Room and the second part occurring Outside after Ma and Jack escape. It's unclear to me at least, exactly what prompts Ma's sudden urge to escape now. Is it that her rotting tooth is incredibly painful? Is it that Jack might come to see Old Nick as something good, who brings lollipops, instead of something unreal? Is it because Old Nick has lost his job and might leave them to die alone in Room when power is cut off?

The escape is ridiculous. For a child who doesn’t even believe the outside world exists, to do what Jack did is beggars belief. It seemed illogical to me that Old Nick would fall for the final escape plan - why would he not check the rug, and how could he be so easily convinced to take the "corpse" away so quickly?

C'mon, Emma! (Since Ma is never referred to by her real name, I named her Emma, after the author.) Why not escape by figuring out the combination on the lock? With seven years in captivity, Ma could have figured out some sort of mathematical system of trying thousands of combinations. Or maybe save up dust (or something sticky) and brush the dust on the buttons to see which were touched. Or memorize the sounds of the buttons. It seemed unrealistic that she would have only come up with the "corpse" plan at the last minute. With all those years, a last minute desperate plan should have had more thought.

Ma's reaction when she's finally Outside also seems odd. She rejects everything about Room and seems to have no problems adjusting to her new life, while Jack struggles with depth perception, sunlight and the new sensations. Ma also doesn't seem as clingy once Outside, which troubles Jack deeply.

I felt like this book capitalizes on our secret glee and horror in the many real life cases that have made the news recently. And having it from a five-year-old’s perspective exclusively felt gimmicky. This will be a polarizing book – people will probably either love it or hate it.

Sidney Sheldon's After the Darkness by Sidney Sheldon and Tilly Bagshawe

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Summary: When her husband's hedge fund collapses after his death, his widow is put on trial for fraud. 

Of all the different books I read, my husband was most contemptuous of this one, probably because Sheldon's novels are beach reading at their best.  Sidney Sheldon's After the Darkness was written after his death, but it still is an authentic Sidney Sheldon novel.

Grace Brookstein is left devastated after her husband Lenny Brookstein drowns at sea one afternoon. Lenny was her much older husband, and treated Grace like a princess. Grace's two older sisters (this felt somewhat like King Lear - two older sisters who had everything and a younger naive sister who believes in love and family) are supposed to support her but feel both glee and malice that Grace's perfect life and adoring husband seem to vanish instantly.

Grieving, Grace is stunned when she finds out that her husband's hedge fund is hiding 70 million dollars, causing thousands of families to lose any retirement savings. Grace's penthouse is sold because there's no money coming in and in the final insult, is charged - and later found guilty - of fraud. Grace can't count on her family for support and turns to her husband's business partner John Merrivale and his sexually cruel wife Caroline. It's John who hired the lawyer, John who advised her on what to wear and how to behave and Caroline who informs Grace that she is forbidden from contacting them ever again after she is sent to prison for life. Grace is entirely alone and abandoned.

Again, Sidney Sheldon loves the idea of women in prison, and yes, there is a lesbian aspect to this story.  Grace is beaten up by her cell mates; Grace attempts suicide; Grace becomes a model inmate  - all the elements of my favorite made for TV movie and Sidney Sheldon novel If Tomorrow Comes.

Grace earns the respect of her cellmates and plans her escape in order to get revenge on all the people who have betrayed her and to clear her husband's name - especially the traitor John Merrivale. The FBI has been spending months trying to find the missing 70 million, and has it out for Grace, including a math savant who has childhood sexual trauma and fantasizes about hurting Grace sexually as she confesses to hiding the money. The wacko was an unnecessary element of the plot.  But after Grace escapes, her case lands in the hands of Mitch Connors, a handsome, lazy and lucky New York City cop. Mitch is after Grace, the FBI is after Grace and nobody wants Grace to learn the truth about what really happened.

But Mitch Connors suspects something is up and starts reviewing the case against Grace, painstakingly doing the job that should have been done in the first place. He's the only person who didn't automatically assume that Grace wasn't guilty right away, even through we all know Grace is innocent. The scene where he visits the Merrivales is pure Sidney Sheldon:

"Mrs Caroline?" Cecelia, the Merrivales' housekeeper, knocked nervously on her employers' bedroom door. "Is a gennelman downstairs to see you."

Caroline turned and glared. Naked from the waist up, with a thick white layer of cream on her face, she looked like a Maori warrior minus the tattoos. "Do I look like I'm ready to receive guests?"

Cecelia tried to avert her gaze from her boss' nipples, large and dark and repellent, like two rotting mushrooms.

Grace's daring prison escape panics nearly everyone who knew the Brooksteins. What will Grace uncover? Will she find out about the affair her sister had with Lenny? Will she find out about the embezzlement? Will she find out about the lies Merrivale has been feeding the FBI? Will she find out who killed Lenny? But nothing is sexier than a woman seeking revenge, and this novel hits this on many levels.

Grace also is aided by a mysterious benefactor once she is on the outside. Who is this person who can just send Grace fake IDs and cash when she requests it through e-mail? And does so? It was a loose end I wanted tied up.

The ending is NOT surprising (yes, what you're thinking is correct) but this book offers light escapism with hints of darkness - a classic Sidney Sheldon, but nothing exceptional. 

Me, Myself and Why? by MaryJanice Davidson

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Summary: An FBI agent with Multiple Personality Disorder tries to track down a serial killer in Minneapolis, while dealing with the challenges of dating someone who isn't scared off by her MPD. 

Sometimes, when you start a book, you just have to commit to the rules that the author has laid out, no matter how silly they seem. (See J.R. Ward, Laurell K. Hamilton, Cassandra Clare.)

In Me, Myself, and Why, author MaryJanice Davidson takes a welcomed break from her Elizabeth Taylor, the Vampire Queen series, and introduces us to Cadence Jones, a member of the FBI's BOFFO team. BOFFO (real definition: a person who has extensive skill or knowledge in a particular field) is titled the Buerea of False Flag Ops, a name which doesn't really make sense as a title, but fills in the letters. But I can sum it up - it takes a crazy to catch a crazy.

Agent Cadence Jones and her partner George - a sociopath - are assigned to the ThreeFer serial killer case. An unsub has been killing exactly three people and leaving them to be found together. But now the killer has hit their hometown of Minneapolis. Cadence works well with the local police, especially Lynn, who knows about Cadence's special issues.

Lynn was a rare creature - she thought an entire department of armed, crazy federal agents was a fine plan. Congress, by contrast, didn't always get on board. Most people didn't, in fact. It was almost like they felt the disadvantages of putting schizophrenic kleptomaniac sociopathic multiple personality depressives in the field outweighed the benefits. Which only proves that many people have no imagination.

Cadence's secret, and her advantage, is that she is actually three agents in one. Cadence Jones is tall, thin and blonde. She's also polite, charming, gentle and a virgin. Her "sister" or alter personality Shiro is a short Asian woman, in addition to being tough, no nonsense and very smart. Their last sister, Adrienne, is crazy. By that I mean she is excessively violent, sings "The wheels on the bus" out loud, is sexually adventuresome, and a muscular leggy redhead.

Now do you get the situation? As a reader, the only way we know which sister is present is that Cadence's text will stop abruptly, and we go to an entirely new chapter. The people who work with Cadence/Shiro/Adrienne seems to know exactly when Shiro makes an appearance. It must be some expression on her face. We also know when Adrienne is around, because her text appears in italics or caps and looks like bad poetry. Shiro appears whenever she thinks Cadence is in danger, but it's unclear exactly what triggers Adrienne's appearance. Perhaps some sort of violence that Shiro can't quite handle?

In addition to tracking down a serial killer who has hit Minneapolis, Cadence was set up with her best friend's brother, Patrick. On one date, all three personalities come out and when Cadence comes to and sees Patrick covered in syrup, she knows that Adrienne must have freaked out. Expecting to slink away mortified, Cadence is alarmed when Patrick confesses that he's intrigued by all three sisters and would like to see them all again. What kind of sicko wants to date a woman with multiple personality disorder? If he has sex with one sister, is he cheating on the other two?  And surprisingly, all three sisters are attracted to Patrick. What can they all be thinking? All sorts of things to think about.

And the dates are disturbing. A nice dinner with Cadence at a fancy restaurant turns into a parking lot brawl after Shiro is approached by some hoodlums, and then they drive away with Adrienne at the wheel commanding Patrick not to remove his hand from whatever it's doing. Cadence wakes up from her black-out with her panties around her knees, driving a car going 60 miles per hour on side streets. That Adrienne!

The story was intriguing and I do like FBI procedural mysteries, but the absolute silliness of the book left me uncertain on how to approach the book. There's Cadence's stereotypical Midwestern demeanor. She swears furiously at Patrick -  "Darn it all to hippy-skip!"  Shiro is no-nonsense and the best detective of the three, taking over Cadence's mind for three days (!?) while she complies research. But Shiro also likes to smoke cigarettes, because she knows it will piss off Cadence. And then there's Adrienne, who rips the spine out of three guard dogs when Cadence goes to interview a witness.

And Cadence absolutely refuses to deal with the trauma that created the personality split in the first place.  When her work-mandated therapist suggests integration of the personalities, Cadence rebels.

I'd been this way as long as I could remember. Shiro and Adrienne had always been there. We were a family. A screwed-up murderously nutty family with government benefits and great parking spots. 

If this book had been a little less silly and/or ridiculous, I would have given it a higher rating. I would like to read more about Cadence, and Shiro, but maybe it would take another book to explain the purpose of Adrienne and what she brings.

Small Acts of Sex and Electricity by Lise Haines

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Summary: When her best friend Jane runs away, Mattie steps into her life.

Mattie is left to tell Jane's family that Jane has driven off in her dead grandmother's Jaguar. So she walks into her best friend's house early in the morning and observes her best friend's husband sleeping in the nude.

I made a ring out of my left thumb and forefinger and fitted it around his penis.

What? Gack! Gag!

Mattie had always been jealous of Jane's life: her wealthy, adoring grandmother; her handsome husband, her two daughters, and Jane's easy, care-free life. And while Mattie feels overwhelmed trying to explain to Jane's girls that their mom is just taking some time off, Mattie is secretly thrilled to be living with Mike, the long-lusted-after fantasy husband. And Mike and Mattie actually start having sex.

Normally I adore switcheroo books, but this one struck me as creepy and disturbing, which is why I couldn't finish it. The sex scenes were not sexy, but instead clinical and overly-detailed, so that when combined with the adultery, just really soured. So many other better books to enjoy.

Hidden Wives by Claire Avery

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Summary: Two young sisters in a polygamous community are struggling with the husbands they're assigned by their compound's Prophet. 

Teenaged Rachel and her slightly younger sister Sara have been raised in a fundamental polygamous community in Utah. At 16 and 17, their short-tempered and perpetually angry father takes them to the Prophet to hear who has received “heavenly” testimonies to marry the girls.

Sara has been assigned to her father’s older brother, Sara’s own uncle. Rachel is shocked but believes that the testimony must be correct. Then Rachel is told 16 different men in the community request her hand in marriage. The Prophet must pray on Rachel’s best future husband. According to their father, Rachel is a seductress and a whore and requires the devil to be beat out of her. As Rachel is locked in her room, reflecting on her evil ways, Sara’s former best friend summons Sara to be with her as she gives birth.

Sheltered Sara is shocked by the birthing process and horrified when her friend’s baby is born severely deformed and left to die. The midwife mutters something about inbreeding and Sara, who has never been taught biology in the community’s school, wonders if there are any health risks when you have a child with a relative. What would happen to Sara’s babies if she married her uncle?

Adding to the inner turmoil is the attraction Rachel feels for the son of a wealthy new family who has joined the cult. Rachel and handsome and headstrong Luke feel drawn to each other, but Rachel knows it’s forbidden if Luke doesn’t receive a testimony from God. When Luke tells the Prophet of his testimony, Luke is banished from the compound, gone forever, like so many other boys on the verge of manhood. Only after oh-so-beautiful Rachel is raped by her own father (!) do the girls execute a tense and rapid escape out west.

Sara and Rachel slowly expand their lives, their minds and their choices, experiencing major culture shock and the aftermath of the trauma they survived.

The writing was solid, but the terror of the story would have been just as vivid without the Rachel’s rape by her father. That scene, and its aftermath, put the whole book over the top for me.

Keeper and Kid by Edward Hardy

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Summary: James Keeper is stunned to discover he and his ex-wife have fathered a child together and he is the legal guardian of their three-year-old son, after her sudden death. 

Most women have 9 months to adjust to the idea that they will become a parent; James Keeper has one week.

Keeper, as his friends call him, is summoned to the hospital by his ex-mother-in-law. His ex-wife Cynthia had a stroke and wants Keeper to take custody of their dog Arrow, whom Keeper lost in the divorce.

Leah, Keeper's current girlfriend, is reluctant to take on a dog and since they just moved in together, Keeper lets Leah choose all the paint colors in their house to make it up to her about the dog he's planning to go and pick up next week.

But when Keeper arrives to pick up Arrow, his ex-sister-in-law Gracie is sitting on the front steps in tears. Arrow ran away last week and can't be found. Keeper is stunned, angry and a little relieved, and pleased that Gracie is so upset about Arrow. But Gracie isn't crying over Arrow, she's crying because Cynthia is dead.  Dead?!

And then a young child with Cynthia's eyes and Keeper's chin wanders outside. In the span of 15 minutes, Keeper finds out that Cynthia has conceived his child, and kept the baby a secret all these years and made Keeper the guardian, in event of her death. Cynthia always was secretive, but to hide their child?! Keeper is overwhelmed, angry, grieving for Cynthia and mystified about how to care for his three-year-old son, Leo.

So Keeper takes Leo home, somehow forgetting to tell Leah that he's bringing his child home to live with them. When Leah comes back from her business trip, she finds Leo installed in her home office and Keeper distracted with the child of his dead ex-wife. Keepr had all this time to tell her, but never thought to call her about adding a child to their lives.

Dumped, Keeper falls into a strange post-partum depression and Leo struggles with a new home, potty-regression, the loss of his mother, and Keeper's well-intentioned neglect.

On the front steps he said: 

"You're really not taking very good care of me."

"I'm trying, " I said. "I get points for trying."

"What points?"

Slacking at work and losing money, moping over Leah, and constantly sleep-deprived, Keeper falls apart. His friends confront him, knowing how bad he is at asking for help. When he lets people help, life becomes much easier. He introduces Leo to his grandparents, a blessing for all involved, and his friends offer to babysit, help him find a day care and encourage him to move on.

But Keeper is still obsessed with Leah, and embarks on a mission to win her back.

"I can't do this alone, I thought." 

And there is Keeper's major mistake. He even has a one night stand with his ex-sister-in-law Gracie, when she visits to see Leo and help out. He seems to see any and every woman as an acceptable mother substitute so he doesn't have to do the hard work of parenting.

Keeper's love campaign to win Leah back fell on the stalking side of the secret admirer line for me, and I couldn't understand why Keeper refused to acknowledge that some women (and men) are not cut out for parenthood. Despite Leah's fervent declarations that she does not want kids, Keeper brushes that aside, because he so wants Leah back in her life. When someone breaks up with you, they don't want to be with you - and Leah was very clear that she never wanted kids.

While Keeper certainly has the sleep-deprivation, exasperation and pride that all parents do, his blindness to the fact that he can't go back to his old life, yet fully expects that if he works hard enough he can have it ALL just made me angry. Only a male author would think that you can suddenly get a kid (from your ex-wife, no less) and still win back a wife who's never wanted kids. A woman author would never have such an implausible ending. It was tender, but unrealistic.

A Desirable Residence by Madeleine Wickham

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Summary: Since they can't sell their house, they rent it out to a couple that seriously complicates their lives.

Note: I was given a copy of this book by the publisher. 

In direct contrast to the decadence of the Shopaholic series, author Madeleine Wickham (who also writes as Sophie Kinsella) has written a surprisingly deep and relevant book about finances, love and marriage, struggles and pride.

The pride aspect of this book is important, because I think pride (or image) must be even more important to the British than it is to Americans.

Pride keeps Liz from selling her house, even at a loss. Jonathan and Liz had one buyer interested, but delayed and lost their only sale in almost a year. Meanwhile, they are carrying TWO mortgages, that of their new business and their old house, while their teen daughter sneaks back into their old garage to have an occasional cigarette.

Marcus, their estate agent (realtor to us Yanks), wants to prove to his stuffy cousin and co-owner that he can still wheel and deal with the best of them. Marcus' wife, Anthea, is worse than a helicopter parent - she's like a hummingbird parent, constantly droning in her sons ears about how academically successful they might be. She even has her son apply for a scholarship, when they absolutely don't need the money.

But Liz and Jonathan do get a renter, and instead of it being the solution, it causes more problems.

I won't give away much more, but this book is a perfect example of Brit Lit (as opposed to Chick Lit). The dialogue, the thinking, character development and setting really fit the Brit Lit niche. It doesn't have the giggly silliness even though there are funny moments.

*** Please note: This book was originally published in 1996 - a whole 14 years ago - yet the strained finances are more topical than they would be even 5 years ago and the book has not been Americanized. Idioms and phrases are kept as authentic.

Saving CeeCee Honeycutt by Beth Hoffman

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Summary: A twelve-year-old girl finds a new family in 1960s Savannah after the death of her mother.

Twelve-year-old Cecelia “CeeCee” Honeycutt is responsible for taking care of her manic mentally ill mother, while her father is out making sales and cheating on his crazy wife. CeeCee’s mother doesn’t fit in in Ohio, which she refers to as the North.

During one of her manic episodes, CeeCee’s mother dresses in a Goodwill prom gown and believes she is in a beauty pageant. While she’s twirling in the middle of the road, a semi-truck hits her. CeeCee, of course, is witness to the whole scene.

After the funeral, her father ships her off to live with Aunt Tootie in 1960s Savannah. Her father loves her but is casually neglectful and detached, like many fathers in the 1960s. CeeCee is welcomed and wanted by Tootie, which makes a delightful, but unnerving, change for her.

Here CeeCee befriends - or more accurately is embraced and befriended by - her Aunt Tootie, Auntie Tootie’s black housekeeper Oletta and Oletta’s black friends Nadine and Chessie. I do mention the race because it is important to plot.

This book was deeply similar to The Secret Life of Bees. Young white girl finds a new family with black women in the South. But Saving CeeCee Honeycutt was much lighter in tone and mood, although there are moments of racial tension in SCH.

“As I watched all the comings and goings and listened to the charming “Welcome to Savannah’s” and the heartfelt ”I’m so pleased to meet you’s” that dripped like honey from these women’s’ lips, I realized that Southern hospitality not only came from the heart but was a practiced social art that had been passed down from one generation to the next – like fine silverware or china. Southerners had a way of doing things that made you feel special and Mrs. Odell soaked in every drop of the kindness.”

It’s odd to me that a culture and locale that places so much emphasis on the social niceties isn’t completely embarrassed about the obvious and subtle racism that occurred as part of everyday life.

Mrs. Odell, her aged Ohio neighbor, is visiting them while on her way to retire in Florida. When her retirement plans fall through in a big way, Mrs. Odell is invited to live and retire with Tootie, Oletta and CeeCee. Tootie shares stories of her mother as a young girl, while Mrs. Odell can share memories of her mother in the later stages of her illness. With both women loving and supporting CeeCee, she begins to heal, and makes a friend her own age for the first time in a long while.

“I had been ashamed of her for so long that any good memories had been distorted and smudged by her illness.”

CeeCee narrates the story and of course is far more mature for her age. She’s not naïve in the way that Lily from SLOB was, but because there was such a lack of dramatic tragedy in this book, it was difficult for me to evaluate the quality of the writing, despite similar plot lines. I do think that one line from SCH will stay with me longer than the image of Lily kneeling on the grits. Tootie is passionate about old buildings – the history, the décor, the beauty. It’s her fire; what keeps her going. And she asks CeeCee (and also the readers) “What’s your fire? What’s your passion?” Because when you find your fire, you find happiness.

Jane Bites Back by Michael Thomas Ford

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Summary: Jane Austen has been quietly living as a vampire and trying to get published again.

It is a truth universally acknowledges that Jane Austen is still alive today… as a vampire.

Oh, yes.

What a fun read. It met needs I didn’t even know I had. It meets my enthusiasm for Jane Austen and enhances my appreciation for her flawed, proud and tender characters. It’s not as good as Pride and Prejudice, but it’s a fun read, with a great blend of a few of my favorite subjects.

Jane Austen? Check.
A book store? Check.
Vampires? Check!

And it’s funny, too.

During a clandestine trip to the English lake district, Lord Byron (yes, the poet) seduces Jane Austen and then bites her, making her into a vampire. Jane stages her death in her time period and then runs away to America where she’s been quietly living all this time.

Jane’s also been struggling in modern-day America to publish what she thinks is her best book yet. She has been rejected by 116 editors. Jane Austen – arguably the most popular female writer of all time – keeps getting rejected. The real irony is that Jane Austen now is the owner of a bookstore in New England and suffers little pangs of agony when she sees another Jane Austen-themed book fly off her shelves. The royalties! The gimmicks! The dolls!? And why does every moron and her sister get a book deal but not Jane?

And one day, Jane’s life changes. A publisher wants her book. A tall, dark handsome publisher who thinks Jane is brilliant and can’t wait to publish more of her books. Jane’s finally getting to realize her dream. And in walks Lord Byron, renamed Brian. He’s finally decided that he and Jane should be a vampire power couple, and he’ll use his considerable charms to ensure Jane complies. The banter between two world-famous writers is delightful.

'"I don’t love you,” she said firmly.

Once more Byron laughed at her. “Who said anything about love?” he replied. We’re both far too old to believe in happily ever after, Jane.”

Perhaps you don’t,” said Jane.

Byron smiled. “Man’s love is of man’s life a thing apart. ‘Tis a woman’s whole existence.”

“Stop quoting yourself,” Jane said. “It’s vain even for you."'

You don’t have to be a Jane Austin fan to enjoy this book, but it certainly helps. And wait until you find out about Charlotte Bronte.

Dead Air by Kerri Miller

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Summary: A Minneapolis TV journalist uncovers an international scandal while tracking the disappearance of another journalist.

Author Kerri Miller is a local radio personality here in the Twin Cities. She has an on-air book club and hosts interesting guests. So I was excited to read this book. And it's not terrible, just disappointing.

Dead Air follows the life of Cate McCoy, a TV journalist assigned to cover local politics. Eddie Hamm is a parody of former Minnesota governor Jesse Ventura. Hamm (even the name shows you that he's larger than life) insults women, is a former paratrooper, says outrageous things and then calls the press vultures, yet has an extremely high approval rating. Of course Jesse Ventura would provide material for a book, but I felt like the fictional  governor's antics and personality were an over-spiced side dish next to a bland, boiled main entree of a story.

"All of this protocol bullshit was exhausting, like being back in the military without the fun of jumping out of planes."

Cate, as so many fictional journalists do, gets caught up in solving the mystery under the guise of being a reporter. In this novel, it's the disappearance and possible murder of Millicent Pine, a radical aging journalist, in town to do a profile on the governor. But the antics of the governor are just a red herring, as Millicent was working on a much bigger story, the abuse, rape, murder and kidnapping of young Mexican Mennonite girls.

Cate and her trusty camerawoman Andy fly down to Mexico, sneak into a factory, and uncover a pornography smuggling operation. Cate is saved from a bullet in the back and a shallow dusty grave by the sudden appearance of a DEA agent.

"McCoy, it's been said before but I'll say it again. You are one tough broad-caster." 

Sheesh.  Yet, Cate's a reporter to the end, refusing to share any of her information with the cops and trying to solve the murder by herself. Weak character development and a convoluted plot disappointed me.

If you want nosy crime reporters, consider Stalking Susan by Julie Kramer or any one of the Irene Kelly books by Jan Burke.

Deadly Little Secret (A Touch Novel) by Laurie Faria Stolarz

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Summary: Teenage Camelia gets involved with the town bad boy, who was accused of murdering his last girlfriend.

This book read like a Lifetime movie. Not that there's anything wrong with that, okay (I love Marlena Hall and Shannen Doherty as much as the next housewife), but it felt cliched to me.

The book opens with dark brooding Ben saving Camelia from an out-of-control car. Twilight, anyone?

Then the next chapter opens to the diary of someone who is loving Camelia from afar. The stalking part and the insane diary writer just scream Lifetime movie. One of my favorite movies has a woman unsuspectingly marry her rapist. You can't make this stuff up! Oh, wait, you can.

Then there's an encounter in biology class, where Ben touches Camelia's hand and they have a shocking moment. A moment so disturbing to Ben that he leaves school for a few days. Twilight, again. 

When Cam and her friend shop at the mall, the outfit she tried on but didn't buy is waiting for her on her bed. And the word "Bitch" is written on her mirror with lipstick. 

From the stalker's diary:

"I hate seeing her with other guys. The way she flirts with them and laughs at their stupid jokes. I saw her talking to that dirtbag. So I called her. I had to set things straight. To put her in her place. To warn her."

and

"What I don't know is why she acts like this. you think she'd be grateful for the gift I left her. That she wouldn't go behind my back ignoring my warning like we never even talked."

Like many Lifetime movies, there is limited parental involvement in the teen's life. Cam's parents are dealing with adult stuff, so Cam never mentions the gifts left on her dresser, the photos of her left in the mailbox, the late night heavy-breathing phone calls, the threatening graffiti, the menacing notes. Of course she tells her friends, but they're convinced that it's Ben, since everyone knew he killed his last girlfriend. But Camelia knows that there's something off about Ben. Did he kill his last girlfriend? Is he violent? Is he the one stalking her? Or is something else going on. Plot spoiler: something else is going on.)

By page 108, I knew who Camelia's stalker was. But I was wrong. Which totally redeemed this book.

The Nobodies Album by Carolyn Parkhurst

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Summary: When her estranged son is accused of murder, author Octavia Frost searches for forgiveness and connection.


I was given a copy of this book by the publisher.

How do I begin to describe a complicated, fascinating book that occasionally haunts me as a parent but also intrigues me as a book lover?

Let me attempt to explain:

Author Octavia Frost is doing a brave, bold thing. She has re-written the endings to all of her published novels. As readers, we get the jacket copy of her book, the original ending, and the revised ending. (Wow! What books would I wish the endings rewritten? That's a great question for my book club.) And Octavia, like author Carolyn Parkhurst, writes dark, intensely sad stories about human love and human cruelty. My favorite story of Octavia's was The Human Slice. I want to read this fictional book, so intrigued was I by the excerpt and both the original and revised endings. I knew I wouldn't read most of Octavia's stories but eagerly read through the main story: Octavia's son Milo is accused of murdering his girlfriend.

Octavia is a widow, having lost her husband and daughter in an accident years ago, leaving Octavia and teenaged Milo to stumble along with their solo grief. Octavia is eaten up by her guilt and contentious relationship with Milo.

"I did one of the following things, just one. Did I (A) Walk away, leaving him to destroy the book in private? (B) Stand in his doorway, with my face in my hands, wondering whether or not to let him see me cry? Or (C) sit next to him on the bed and say, "Let's get rid of this thing. What do you think about burning it?" 

Never mind which one is true. Tell me which one would have changed things. Tell me which one would have led us, inevitably to an ending other than this one."

As an adult, Milo is a popular, talented musician who seems to have reached happiness, until his pretty girlfriend Bettina is found murdered in their bed, with Milo as the only suspect. Milo and Octavia have been estranged for years, and Octavia is an expert on all things Milo after Milo shut Octavia out of his life.  What even more disturbing about this brutal murder is that Milo is convinced he has killed Bettina, even though he can't remember.

Feeling panicked with his upcoming trial, Milo allows Octavia back into his life, and Octavia carefully builds trust and love with Milo, without having resolved the original reason Milo cut off all contact four years ago. Octavia is dangerously curious about Milo's life without her, and yet, she still is not convinced of Milo's innocence.

Octavia revisits her parenting of Milo, recognizing only too late where she should have stepped in and where she should have backed off.  Octavia's attempt to rewrite her books despite everyone knowing the ending mirror her attempt to rewrite her own history and past with Milo, even though once said (or written or published) some things cannot be unsaid. This is a dramatic, challenging book, written with astute observations about human motive and hidden thoughts.

Those Who Save Us by Jenna Blum

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Summary: An adult woman uncovers her German heritage, finding that her mother was the mistress of a Nazi officer. 

What would I do to save my children's lives? Anything. I would do anything. So when Anna is forced down on a sagging bed and muffles her cries so she won't disturb her daughter playing in the other room, I had nothing but sympathy and support for Anna. And when Horst, the Obersturmführer, brings milk and meat each week for Anna's daughter, Anna welcomes him only as a way to keep her daughter Trudie alive, despite the dread and shame she feels.

This was a tragic and deeply-moving book, showcasing the horrors of the Holocaust, the secret shame of rape victims, and how the trauma of the past still affects us today. It's a well-written debut novel with sympathetic, whole characters and enhanced even further my understanding of that period of history.

The book opens as Trudy, a middle-aged professor of German studies at the University of Minnesota, is attending the funeral of her father. Jack was not her biological father, but the man who married her mother, Anna, and brought them from Germany to Minnesota, after the war.

A different section opens with beautiful, teenage Anna, back in Weimar, Germany, and how her life is slowly changing with the new anti-Jewish fervor. The book spends just enough time on each character so that even while you're engrossed with lovely Anna and her terror and deprivation, you're still worried about Trudy and her loneliness and anger.  The author cleverly refers to adult Trudy as Trudy and young Trudy as Trudie, reflecting both the German spelling and the American spelling.

Even though Anna does not fight back, the brutal scenes with whiskey, razor blades and scarves are nothing but rape, as you know that Anna has no choice. Her shame, her defiance to keep her child living, and the emotional strength required to not scar her daughter even further are laden with power and intensity.

"She has often told herself that she is not so badly off, really. Men of power have had mistresses since time out of mind, and it doesn't matter that none of the gaunt women who visit the bakery will look directly at Anna. At least she and Trudie are safe in a warm place with access to food, and she is earning her keep in ways both legal and illicit while at this very moment others are dead, dying, starving, having their eyeballs lanced and toenails pulled by the Gestapo, laboring with heavy machinery that crushes their fingers to nubs, standing naked in the rain, their children wrenched shrieking from their arms, being shorn, shot, tumbling into pits. It is really very enviable, Anna's prosaic little arrangements with the Obersturmführer."

There are many more fascinating important plot points that deepen the layers in this book. I won't give them away, but while this is a very good book, it's hard to read all at once. On her 23rd birthday, Anna asks the the Obersturmführer to spare 23 Jews, one for each year of her life. The reaction to her request is chilling. 

Every time I read a book about the Holocaust, I'm continually astonished that Mel G. and Mahmoud A. can still deny that the Holocaust occurred. Consider also Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay.